Monday, January 26, 2004

Spamfighter 101: Garbage In, Garbage Poetry Out

Tired of getting spam mails that manage to sneak through your filters? Don't fret. Simply recycle your spam mails into laughters! Join the garbage (or spam) poetry composing. Instead of opening up your mailbox with frowns, receive your spams with grins.

Spam poetry is not a new thing. Bloggers such as Kristin Thomas and Paulette have done it for some time.

Q: How does one write garbage poetry?
A: Just take different parts (a word, a sentence, the subject title, etc) from spam mails. Then rearrange them together to form a poem. That's it.

Q: What if there are typos?
A: Let them be. They're the spammers' typos. Not yours.

Q: How do YOU write one?
A: Since I don't bother to read spam mails, I just copied their subject titles and rearranged them. Without changing anything. Good enough for me.

Q: Can I see it?
A: Sure. Here's my first entry for Garbage Poetry...

What's new?

Never Repay Your Debt
It was too big
Earn Your Degree Online
It was about time.
Meet singles in your area!
It IS Time Ladies

Become a Travel Agent from Home
They were overpaid
Share your mood with someone today
Size does matter, women tell

Pull up some popcorn and watch your Free DVD
Your love life will never be better
~Woommmen froliiccking with there horze
Kids Love this art stuff


This Timely-Procrastinator is currently on level 11.


My partner and I witnessed these dialogues while queueing for the 17.20 train ticket.(1)
A Guy: For what time are you selling these tickets?
(There was already a big sign on the counter that said: "15:50. No seats left. Standing tickets only.")
Ticket Lady: The Three-fifty-pm train. But there are no seats left. So you can only buy standing tickets.(2)

(The Guy left. Then came in Another Guy.)

Another Guy: What time does this train depart?
Ticket Lady: Maybe about six. But we only have standing tickets.
Another Guy: Are there seats available?(3)

(Not long before Another Guy was replaced by Yet Another Guy.)

Yet Another Guy: How come the train doesn't depart yet?
Ticket Lady: It will. About six pm. But you'll need to buy the standing tickets.
Yet Another Guy: How on earth can we stand?(4)

1: At 17.34. This demonstrated how lenient Indonesians are towards schedule. Which makes us tied with the Americans at 2-2 in the Cool War.
2: The Fool's suggested answer: "Oh, we only sell these tickets during happy times, to illiterate customers."
3: The Fool's suggested answer: "No. All of the seats are already married."
4: The Fool's suggested answer: "The key is balance. You put your right foot on your left. And your left foot on a huge, tattoed man's butt. That same man will balance your mouth with your brain."

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