Monday, December 31, 2007

Summing Up the Year 2007

First, let's take a look back on...

Months before the Indonesia tourism site started attracting (unwanted) attention, I'd noticed something peculiar about their previous improvement: their copywriter apparently smoked pot on the job.

It took twenty years for me to get this single enlightenment: It would only take one second--to turn the damn TV off.

The KKK took my (newborn) baby away. But it was okay. Because I finally understood how Indonesian swearing works.

During the care of my second child, I realized that--ideally--a guy should undertake a Fatherhood Aptitude Test before facing the actual thing. Otherwise, these fathers might end up creating TV shows for Indonesia.

The World Wildlife Fund redefined the term "back to nature", when they accidentally exposed some children to porn in one of their educational events. I guess they just hadn't realized how fierce Indonesian mothers could be.

Thing to note: some children actually applauded. There's hope for Indonesia after all.

I realized that my childhood dreams were political. And none of it involved being a president. But it's easy for kids nowadays. If you get a C, you can be the President of the United States. And if you get an E, bright future awaits!

June also bore good news for Nielsen Media Research Indonesia.

Indonesians began to frequent, a social networking for book readers. We're easy to spot, though. And speaking of reading, even our representatives are eager to learn.

July was also the start of (Movies) in Five Minutes series, which should be a tell-tale sign of "when Isman has nothing else to do".

And don't forget: Think for future! Best for forward!

My eyes were opened by the perks of being a Mayor. Apparently, by being a Mayor, you can check out someone's virginity. In pure admiration, I devised a Comprehensive Virginity Test for this Mayor.

I was chosen as one out of thirteen Indonesian representatives in the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival 2007. We were supposed to make other participants from abroad feel welcome. And I sucessfully contributed to that, by being lost in the first day.

Blogger Party 2007 happened. Gladly, I wasn't a host or anything. So it went well.

Unfortunately, things didn't go well for the english section of Jakartan Higher Education Directorate site, which were supposed to be Clean, Transparent and Professional and successfully missed all three.

Finally some enlightenment for the ladies: an exact definition of "cool" for guys.

And as the presidential campaigning period grows nearer, here's a suggestion for our presidential candidates: release a smutty-titled song.

So, based on only what I wrote on The Fool Has Landed: this year has been stupid, hazardous, and enlightening.

Yes, a usual year in Indonesia. But don't let that stop us from continuing in a similar fashion for the following year.

Just like the immortalized words of Al Jarreau;

You can be what you want to
And all you need is to
Get your boogie down

Thank you for sharing the laughs of 2007.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

A Humbling Compliment...

...sounds like an oxymoron. But thanks to the Internet, now I could cite an example.

There's a Yahoo Answers entry which discusses the question "Is amitabachan really that good or rude person?". The best answer, which could be summed up in one word: "No", also comments another Indian actor. And I'll quote:

I think [Shah Rukh Khan] is genuinely humble.i am sure he cant be fake bcoz he is not a good aactor.

Sounds like a good epitaph to me. "A genuinely humble man--because as an actor that he was, there was no way he could've faked it."

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Taking Celebration a Step Further

Last Monday (24 December), Bandung Indah Plaza (a shopping mall in Bandung) placed a banner on top of their main entrance, which said, "Marry Christmas!"

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

You Want to Be The Next President?

Here's how to get my vote: publish a song with a smutty title. "Smack Me on the Butt", for instance.

That easy.

Why, you ask? Because in Indonesia nowadays, everytime the current President attends an official ceremony, the local government enjoy sucking up by playing one of his songs.

I'd love to see the President attend an event such as the National Social Solidarity Day. And then, after a formal greeting, the sound systems blare, "SMACK ME ON THE BUTT! SMACK ME ON THE BUTT!"

That'll be worth it. Because let's face it: new or old faces aren't going to make drastic changes. We might as well elect someone that makes ceremonies more interesting.

Reason #46 For Not Attempting Suicide in Indonesia

You might fail. Even when you jump off a flyover and hit the road below head on. You'll just be in a lot of pain. And get quoted saying things like, "Please, help me. My family left me. I'm out of love."

Not to mention that when the police and a guy rush you to the hospital, the police might leave you without warning. And the guy, realizing that he can't take care of the medical bills, would just return you to the exact location of your fall.

This is Jakarta, after all.