Grow Some Curiosities (Part One)

Sometimes, in my neverending quest of finding the Ultimate Gift for Women, I stumble on things that seem to be a Cool Gift for Guys. But of course, since it's a lot easier. For guys, cool means:

1. Can explode
2. Produces great big noises
   
3. Gigantic
   
4. Powerful
   
5. Useless
6. Anything that a woman will frown on
   

A simple example:

• Leonardo diCaprio. Women adore him; uncool.
• Leonardo diCaprio explodes: Cool!

Another example:

• President of the Republic of Indonesia: Powerful. Cool!
• Vice President: Useless. Also cool!

Last month, me and my partner found one such product. It's called--and I'm not kidding--"Grow a Lover". The tagline sums it all, "If you don't have a lover, grow one." It's available in two versions: male and female. And it boasts of capability to "grow up to 600% of original size".

I know what you're thinking: instant boobjob, right?

Well, yeah, I've thought about experimenting with it firsthand. And maybe try to grow only certain body parts, if you know what I mean. However, it's not that simple.


It doesn't say how long it's going to take. I suspect it won't be that instant. But why speculate when we can try it out?



And my suspicion is right. So far the lover just stays there, on the bottom of the glass. Let's see what will happen in a few days. If we get lucky, it'll explode.