Wednesday, January 10, 2007

The Evil of "Between Quotes"

The official Indonesian tourism site dedicates a special section on Bali. This move is part of a program called "Bali Recovery", trying to restore inbound visits to this island. However, one particular page about family vacation rather misses its mark. In my opinion, the last thing you want to read about a family vacational spot is how children "friendly" it is.

Worth quoting:

...Balinese adore kids! The Balinese love children and are quite protective of them. They will often come up and strike a conversation with the kids and will sometimes pick them up and want to give them a hug. They will comment on how cute the "tourist" kids are.
Oh dear esteemed editors, please, let's not scare away potential visitors and just cut the last two sentences, shall we? And lose the quotes. You don't want "friendly" adults near your children either. Except if your kids are indeed "tourists".


PS: Please remove "Isn't it well?" while you're at it. Remember the golden rule: if you smoke pot while copywriting, it'll show.

No comments: