Ah Yes, You're The Guy Whose Name Sounds Like Irman

Some names happen to be overshadowed by more popular, similar ones. Mine, for example. The name isman's not as common as Irman, or Firman. Which explains why almost nobody got my name right the first time. So situations like these happen a lot;

New Acquaintance #1: Anton.
Me: Isman.
Anton: Irman?
Me: Isman!
Anton: Ah, Iman!

New Acquaintance #2: Santi.
Me: Isman.
Santi: Bisman?

After I read a book about brains by Tony Buzan, I realized that most people tend to get something right the second time they hear it. Because at the first time, they're still not ready to listen. With the newfound knowledge, I devised this tactic:

New Acquaintance #3: Irma.
Me: Figurishlamanujabutran Ismanaputra.
Irma: What?
Me: But you can call me isman.
Irma: Oh, okay, Isman.

There's only one simple problem. I underestimated how generalizing Indonesians can be. So what happened was

New Acquaintance #4: Reza
Me: Barishlahamanta Tun Ismanaputra.
Reza: Firman?

I gave up.

Me: Yes, nice to meet you.

SORRY SON, YOU'RE NOT BEING NAUGHTY ENOUGH

Harvard officials stopped the publication of "H Bomb," a student sex magazine because "it would not include porn."

Worth quoting:

While the magazine will have nude photos of both male and female students, the organizers insist it won't be porn.

THIS OFFICE PRODUCTIVITY APPLICATION IS NOT FOR THE STRESSED OUT

Because this Crimson Room is too similar to many office works: You're given a task with only one way solution, but the task-giver won't tell you how.


HOLIDAY TRAVEL TIP FOR TURKEYS

Stay away from Israel. The people there consume more turkeys per capita than any other country.