Thursday, January 26, 2006

How to Publish a Bestselling Book

Get an endorsement from Osama bin Laden.

Now That's Revolution

Public shools of West Virginia will develop a curriculum that require their students to play the popular game "Dance Dance Revolution." This is the state's effort to battle the rising childhood obesity rates.

For those who aren't familiar with the game, to play Dance Dance Revolution, one has to stand over a "dance pad" consisting of four directional arrows. The screen will show a series of arrows which indicate which part of the dance pad you have to step on. The timing also counts. If you step on the right pad at the right time, a sign "Perfect" or "Good" will pop up. And your scores soar.

So, the song YMCA, for example, will show righ-right-right-left-up-up-down-right-left and lastly the sign "Get outta here before you make a fool of yourself you moron! Oh, too late."

For Those Who Want to Get Their Hands on the Game...

...with less than 1/10 of the sweat. You can buy this.

Worst Undercover Attempt of The Day

Michael Jackson trying to pass as a traditional Arabian woman.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

For Those of You...

...who don't give a care in the world whether Indonesians should support or ban the upcoming Playboy Indonesia magazine, let's spend our time in a more constructive activity.

If You'll Only See One Movie This Year... may need to go out more. But seriously, why not check out the Lego Star Wars: Revenge of the Brick

Signs of Wisdom #5

"Valentine's Day is not the time to give your lady anything that plugs into the kitchen wall."

I Know What You Fear Last Summer

According to one Gallup poll (on the same page as the above article), the most common fear of youths is terrorism. However, trailing one percentage behind at number two is the fear of spiders. No records available about the percentage related with fear of spider terrorists.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

And You Think Your Job's Tough?

Consider this case:

  1. Job description: befriends a snake.

  2. Requirements: loves danger, must be a hamster.

  3. Occupational hazard: getting eaten.

  4. Perks: being the butt of the joke--getting named "Gohan" (literally means "food").

Oxymoron of the Day

Organized fun.

Signs of Wisdom (or Lack thereof) #4

"Lettuce comes from the ground, therefore it can go back into the ground..."

Monday, January 23, 2006

A New Definition for the Term...

...battle of the sexes.

Worth quoting:

To reproduce they try to stab each other with their genitals and the first to penetrate inserts sperm and then goes on to spar with another flatworm. The "loser" lays and broods the eggs.
Sounds like a usual Saturday night in Jakarta.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Trust Me, I Know What I'm Doing

According to Pikiran Rakyat (literally means "The People's Mind", a major newspaper in West Java Province), Abdul Rohmat, a well-known religious elder in Garut got severely injured by Wan (24), his own teacher. This won't be an unusual case if the victim didn't personally ask Wan to strike him with a sharp blade.

Apparently, last Thursday (January 19th) eight men appeared in Wan's village and asked Wan to teach them the secret art of becoming impervious to blades. The young teacher finally agreed and started reciting a prayer. Suddenly, Abdul Rohmat interrupted and asked his teacher to strike him, claiming that he himself had already mastered the art.

Without any doubts, Wan took a small machette and swung at his pupil's back--and I quote--"five times." The blade sliced Abdul easily, noted an eyewitness. Everyone, including Wan, was surprised. They brought Abdul to the hospital and barely saved his life.

Five times? I don't know about you, but I would've stopped at the first failure. What exactly happened there?

Slash! Blood splashing out. "Don't worry! This usually happens." Slash! More blood splashing out. "It doesn't hurt as much as it looks." Slash! Now it starts gushing out. "We'll get it right this time." Slash! "Eventually." Slash! "Uhm... a little help here?"

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Journey to Typoland!

I was just in the mood to reminisce when my partner told me about Quest, a text-based adventure games engine.

With this engine, not only you can play text-based adventure games, you can even create one (using the commercial version). Which means, nothing can stand between you and your limitless creativity to create unimaginable games such as this:

The Death-Trap

You sit peacefully on you couch. Your favorite show's playing on TV. Your favorite drink on one hand, remote control on the other. Nothing can break this peace.

Or so you thought.

Your girlfriend nudges you on the shoulder. She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"

You answer: Y/N? Yes...

...your girlfriend slashes you on the neck.


But why make one? Playing the games is enough fun of its own. Especially since not all gamemakers speak proper English.

Worth quoting:
"Who are you!" asks the night-elf.

You shout your answer, "We are worriers from Hyrule!"
Another in-game text worth quoting:
The man looks you at the eyes, and says, "I'm looking forward to mating you."
Isn't it a wonder, why these text-based beauties haven't become widely popular again? Now, go and play your hearts out, my friends. Until we mate again!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Flies That Bind

Have you ever set up a fly trap? Usually it consists of a plastic paper or pole covered in special glue. Put it around the highest fly-traffic area, and WHAM! Few of them will get caught in a matter of seconds.

The strange thing is: more flies keep getting caught in the same trap. It's as if none of them realizes that this sticky thing is a trap. Don't they communicate to each other?

Or maybe flies are just like humans. One gets caught and thinks, "Uh oh."

Then a neighborhood boy flies over and asks, "Whatcha doin', man?"

His pride kicks in. "Nuthin'. Just hangin' around."

"You look stiff."

"Nah, I'm just overwhelmed with excitement. This stuff is good."

"That thing on your legs? It looks sticky."

"You just don't know what you're missing."

"Really? Lemme try--WHAT THE HELL! I'm stuck!"

"Y'know what? Brain is what you're missing."

"I'll get you for this!"

"Ooooh, I'm scared. Just come over here and try."

"Why you--"

"Hey, what are you guys up to?" says another fly, buzzing over.

"Nuthin'!" reply the two flies in unison. "Just hangin' around..."