Friday, July 08, 2005

Make Better Use of Your Office Hours

Vote for The 2005 World Stupidity Awards.


SIZE DOES MATTERS!

Especially if you're a crossdressing man trying to pass an exam as his sister.

Worth quoting:

"...security were especially suspicious of the applicant’s breasts that were of 'incomparable proportions'.1 They thought that cheat notes could be hidden inside her clothing. However, it turned out that the breasts were fake."
I used to suspect the same thing of Pamela Anderson's.

____________
1: For a side note, "Incomparable Proportions" is a good drama series title.


AS LONG AS THEY DON'T MAKE...

...a venus fly trap urinal.


FOSSIL FUELS HAVE BEEN SCARCE...

...in Indonesia. Lines have been forming in major towns' gas stations. Some people claimed to line up to 2.5 hours, just to get three litres of gasoline.

So-called experts (including from the government) have come up with several solutions, of which we can categorize into two:
  1. Highly probable, such as go back in time, breed and kill more dinosaurs, so million years later (which is now) there would be more fuel deposits; or
  2. Improbable, such as making Indonesians cutting power usage efficiently.
    Oh, come on. We're talking about a society that invents the term "wallpaper TV". In our dictionary, "efficient power" would consist only two words: "See unlimited".
On the positive side, the government has learnt a few lessons and stop applying "efficient countermeasures", which usually involves officially declaring that "We're okay. Nothing bad will happen!" thereby, a mass hysteria will be triggered and more people will line up at gas stations to help deplete the local fuel deposit.

In the meantime, we should probably seek other means ourselves. Such as...


THE MOST EFFICIENT CAR EVER...

...which only needs 25 watts (equivalent to less than two gallens of petrol) to travel 25,000 miles. However it boasts a top speed of--drum rolls, please!--30 mph.

No problem. The average speed of cars in Jakarta during rush hours is about five miles per hour, anyway. Ten mph on highways. And two mph when police officers take over the traffic control.

The design, however, looks as if it was made for tiny weenie hobbits with flexible necks. The photo's caption should say, "Kart racer Jack Dex, 13, will be meeting his masseur after this."

6 comments:

roi said...

wah Man, seharusnya kamu ikutan waktu wapres ngasih sambutan di HUT-nya HIPMI kemaren...
dia bilang....efisiensi bisa jadi penyebab baby boom
hehehe

ikez said...

budayakan naek sepeda di bandung!

*kebayang aja, naik turun di dago timur aja uda ngos ngos*

the fool said...

Oh, astaga... dia masih pake joke dari tahun 90-an, roi?

Gua dah pernah coba naek sepeda di Ciumbuleuit, kez. Baru dari Gandok nyampe Unpar terpaksa sepeda ditenteng, hehe.

Uncover Japan said...

Quite a mix and funny also

HazeHaters said...

Hi Indonesian friends,
The haze is better now in Malaysia but during its worse there were a lot of frustrated and outraged people around. Some of us wanted to go the creative route. Just thought we would show you how we felt. Perhaps you could help us out because we sure can't do anything about it once the fires start in Sumatra. Please spread the word, Thank you.
Peace & Understanding
http://hazeinmy.blogspot.com

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