Tuesday, October 26, 2004

This Indonesian Should've Gotten a Nobel Prize...

...for getting the word "tahi" (meaning: dung) on the screen of Shortshorts Film Festival Asia (SSFFA 2004).

Apparently, the SSFFA invites Wahyu Aditya to enter his seven-minute animation, "Tahi Sapi atau Bukan?"(1) He'll have a two-day chance from October 29th to show whether this cow dung is up to snuff.

Worth quoting:

"In the meantime, I represent Indonesia in Japan for cow dung. With Allah's will, next time I'll come up with something better..."
--Wahyu Aditya
As long as it's not bullshit.


UPDATE: KOREAN KIDS' EDUCATION THESE DAYS...

...includes teaching morals from an animation about dog poo. I envy them.

(Thanks to geekgirl.)

__________________________

(1): Literally: "[Is it] Cow Dung or Not?"

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

When Things Get Tough, The Tough...

...produces humorous food labels.



Above is the actual label for "Abon Crismon", which apparently went into production back in late 90's. "Crismon" is our abbreviation of "Crisis" and "Monetary", marking the period when our currency, rupiah, started to plummet to less than a quarter of its worth.

While Abon is a traditional food based on meat (mostly beef, chicken, or fish). The process in some ways is similar to making a jerky; first you caress the meat tenderly, then you whisper proverbial sweet nothings to the ear, and--NO, sorry, wrong process! You boil the meat, tear it apart to tiny little slices, mix them with more spices than Geri Halliwel, and then keep them fried until they dry out. The result is a brownish, soft, cotton-like food with a sweet smell. Put a spoonful in your mouth and the various spices meet different parts of your tongue, giving you a rich taste to explore.

(Yes. I'm fasting. And it's getting on to me.)

Back to the label, let's take a deeper look at the description.



Loosely translated, the top description says, "Made from the meat of healthy cows, this abon is perfect for these crisis-filled times, just pick a handful, mix with rice, bread, or porridge, it'll surely taste great. Life may be hard, but never pass such a delight."


While the bottom one states, "Note:
  1. Not recommended for vegetarians.
  2. Upon running out, don't hesitate to buy more.
  3. Don't throw away this label, it may be a good trinket when our condition returns to normal."
It's always nice to discover that, when faced by a crisis of economical proportion, someone was able to keep her/his sense of humor.


(The actual label above was sent by Affi. Many thanks!)

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Advertising Has Landed...

...on the men's room.

Wizmark (R) may be the only advertising product that displays message and --optionally--plays a recorded message upon getting pissed. Excuse the pun.

Worth quoting:

"The new interactive urinal communicator from Wizmark enables CMT to target a very captive and vulnerable audience..," said James Hitchcok, vice president of marketing at CMT.

Monday, October 18, 2004

How To Think Positive: Step One

Move to China.

Worth quoting:

"The satellite landed in our home. Maybe this means we'll have good luck this year."
(Thanks to Veriyanta Kusuma.)


A GOOD POINT TO PONDER THIS RAMADHAN...

...Eid Fitri lacks publicity.

(A thought by Big Brother Ray.)

Friday, October 15, 2004

How Do You Spell "Copyright Infringements"?

6-6-2 M-O-B or P-D-I-P?

(Thanks to Wahyudi Pratama).


SIGNS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMM #2


("Rumah" is Bahasa for "House")


Before buying this "house," remember to check whether it has any "window," "door" or "roof."


MORE BaM! READERS

Thanks to yulian, santi, bhiima and estalia.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

This Sign Brings A New Definition For...



..."Eau de toilette." (In English, the sign above "Toilet" means "Perfume Refill.")

Monday, October 04, 2004

Spreading The BaM! Virus

As a part of Spreading the BaM! Virus Campaign, I rewrote a certain part of the book to fit into a short mail. So people could just forward it to their friends. The original intention being people will see the credits toward BaM! and the link to this blog. This, theoretically, should spark readers' interests in clicking.

----begin forwardable message----

Untuk rekan-rekan yang perlu kepastian kapan kira-kira seharusnya kita mulai mengatur berat badan. Di bawah ini ada dua macam rambu yang bisa kita perhatikan: Kuning (Hati-hati) dan Merah (Uh oh!).



SEBELAS RAMBU KUNING BERAT BADAN


  1. Jika Anda sudah menikah dan cincin pernikahan mulai sulit dilepaskan dari jari manis Anda.
  2. Saat tujuhbelas Agustusan, Anda menjadi peserta yang dicari-cari untuk bagian paling belakang di perlombaan tarik tambang antar RT.
  3. Teman kerja Anda mulai menyarankan agar Anda menggunakan tangga, dan bukan lift.
  4. Sepatu Anda kekecilan semua dan Nike Air Anda kempes.
  5. Setiap Anda naik angkutan umum, kenek meminta ongkos untuk dua orang.
  6. Anda harus jongkok dan mengambil ancang-ancang dulu sebelum melompat.
  7. Saat Anda mencoba timbangan koin elektronis, ia berkata agar naik ke timbangannya satu-satu, jangan duaan atau lebih.
  8. Setiap Anda melompat masuk kolam renang, terjadi ombak lokal yang cukup dahsyat.
  9. Anda terpaksa beli ikat pinggang baru karena kehabisan tempat untuk bikin lubang lagi.
  10. Satu-satunya cara agar Anda bisa menghemat biaya makan di luar adalah dengan mendatangi restoran all-you-can-eat.
  11. Dokter internis Anda menyarankan untuk menurunkan berat badan, demi kesehatan Anda.



SEBELAS RAMBU MERAH BERAT BADAN


  1. Cincin pernikahan sudah tak bisa dilepaskan dari jari kelingking Anda, kecuali dengan las atau amputasi.
  2. Begitu mengetahui Anda juga mengikuti lomba makan kerupuk, semua peserta lain mengundurkan diri.
  3. Alarm lift yang Anda naiki protes keberatan, padahal Anda sendirian.
  4. Anda lupa nomor sepatu Anda karena sudah lebih dari setahun tidak bisa melihat kaki sendiri. Anda bahkan tidak yakin sudah mengenakan sepatu atau belum.
  5. Saat Anda bergerak menuju angkutan umum kosong yang sedang ngetem, mobilnya malah kabur.
  6. Setiap Anda mengambil ancang-ancang mau melompat, semua orang di sekitar langsung tiarap.
  7. Saat Anda mencoba timbangan koin elektronis, uang Anda dimuntahkan.
  8. Pengurus kolam renang langganan Anda menyesuaikan jadwal menguras kolam dengan kedatangan Anda.
  9. Penjual ikat pinggang mulai menawarkan tali tambang.
  10. Anda mau memasuki restoran all-you-can-eat dan tempatnya langsung tutup.
  11. Bahkan dokter mata Anda pun menyarankan untuk menurunkan berat badan, demi keselamatan dunia.

Dikutip dari buku humor "Bertanya atau Mati! (BaM!)" terbitan Gramedia Pustaka Utama.
http://the-fool-found-a.blogspot.com
----end forwardable message----

However, I underestimated the power-hunger of Indonesian mail-forwarders. I sent the original mail to a particular mailing list on September 27th. And two days after that, somebody had already sent it to another mailing list... with every credits and trace to this blog or BaM! deleted.

Nice.