Sunday, June 29, 2008

Caption Writing Madness #5

  1. How to get men to stop staring at your boobs.

  2. "My new shampoo really brings the beast in me."

  3. "Vitamins? My hair needs protein!"

  4. Other Submissions

  5. Visit Singapore: where every day is a roaring hair day
    Submitted by: richoz

  6. "Hear me roar!"
    Submitted by: therry

  7. Sign of a Bad Hair Day #5: It swallowed the hair stylist.
    Submitted by: Alex


Photo abducted from Nagi Noda's Hair Hats.

Previous Madness: Wild Party Sign. (Yes, I know it's been a while.)

Thursday, June 05, 2008

The Good Game Brings Players Straight To Hell

My partner recently bought a boardgame called Good Game. It's supposed to teach muslim kids to know right from wrong. Take the properties out of Monopoly and change the location names into morals, and that's basically it.

The way to win is to get the highest scores, by tallying acquired positive and negative moral scores.

Here, we see sport ("Olahraga") and cleanliness ("Menjaga kebersihan") worth 10 and 20 points respectively. While being cheapskate ("Pelit") costs you 20 points.

At certain points, the kids may draw Pilihan, its equivalent to Monopoly's Chance. It also determines your scores.

However, certain cards like this ("Kafir!" = "Heathen!") will bring you straight to hell, and lose the game.

So the first lesson this game teaches our children: if everyone around you goes to hell, you win!

The second: moral is a Machiavellian thing. The bottom line's what matters most.

For instance, getting involved in a premarital romantic relationship ("Pacaran") is a no-no in conservative Islam. Therefore, you get minus 500 points.

On the other hand, if you get married ("Nikah"), you can bring home 250 points. How cool is that?

The children who play this game will note that, in the future, they could get married twice to even the score. In a couple decades or so, they will one day be influential figures in the society like Hamzah Haz.

If that's not heartwarming enough for you, we can see another important lesson they might get; manslaughter ("Membunuh orang") is BAD. But it evens out in the end if you study diligently ("Rajin belajar"). After brutally maiming other people in the name of God, I guess those FPI guys come home to study during the night. And if those victims don't die, more power to you.

Ha ha! Of course I'm kidding. It's not that easy. Because there's a strict condition: you have to be firm.

Doubtfulness ("Ragu-ragu") will get you minus 100 points; studying dilligently won't cut it. So if you're involved in a mob attack (in the name of God, of course) never hesitate in attacking defenseless children or their mothers.

As for me, I've learned two extra things: prepare a Get Out of Hell Free Card. And don't mess with diligent people: they may have positive scores to spare.